While parents and coaches often focus on the technical side of hockey — faster skating, a stronger shot, and precise passing — the key to a child’s success on the ice between ages 6 and 12 is not mastering these “hard” skills. In fact, confidence, resilience, and genuine passion for the game play a larger role in shaping a young athlete’s future. Here are five ways to foster these qualities and help your child play the game with freedom, creativity, and joy.
1. Maintain a Positive-to-Constructive Feedback Ratio of 5:1
It’s natural for parents and coaches to want to correct every mistake a young player makes, especially when you’re aiming to help them reach their potential. However, excessive corrections can dampen a child’s spirit and make them hesitant to play freely. If every mistake is met with criticism, the joy of playing can quickly fade, leading to a player who becomes afraid to make a move. Even when your intentions are to help, young kids often take constant instruction as criticism.
During games, I make a point to offer positive reinforcement after every shift while limiting constructive criticism to every 4-5 shifts. I highlight what the player is doing well as often as possible before gently offering constructive feedback in critical areas. I try to praise the controllable factors like effort, selflessness, or trying something new while saving constructive feedback for the technical side of the game. Some parents may comment that you spend too much time praising players and not enough time correcting their mistakes. This feedback often comes from the same parents whose children are glued to the stands, looking for parent approval after every move on the ice. This constant seeking of validation distracts them from focusing on the game and speaks to the pressure that looms in the back of their minds.
It’s important to remember that your child has plenty of time to develop the necessary skills and game strategies. The journey to reaching your potential includes making mistakes, and those mistakes are vital to growth. The more you point out mistakes, the more you risk making a young player feel like the game isn’t meant for them- and if you over-structure your players, you also risk blunting their natural growth of IQ and Hockey Sense. The goal of coaching and parenting is to nurture a love for the game, build confidence, and allow room for failure while making gradual progress in the harder game skills. If you rush the process, you’ll create unintended limitations.
2. Introduce Physicality in On-Ice Practices
Young players can be hesitant to engage physically, especially when they’re smaller or less experienced. The sight of bigger, stronger players can understandably make them shy away from battles or corners. While this hesitation is normal, it can be minimized through controlled exposure to contact during practice.
To help kids overcome this fear, we incorporate drills that allow them to experience contact in fun, controlled ways. Using football hit pads, we teach players how to establish strong “hip walls,” maintain balance, and navigate through physical encounters. The kids even get a kick out of trying to knock over their coach in a playful way. Additionally, corner battles and small-area games encourage kids to engage with physicality in a relaxed, unemotional environment.
At home, physical play with parents — like wrestling or roughhousing — can help kids build resilience in contact situations. Such activities promote confidence, teach boundaries, and help kids understand the difference between healthy competition and unsafe behavior. Simply telling a child to “toughen up” won’t do as much as empowering them to engage with confidence in physical play.
3. Introduce Dryland Training
Starting dryland training at an early age — even as young as 7 — is one of the most effective ways to build both physical strength and mental confidence. While the physical benefits of dryland training (strength, coordination) are important, the real value lies in the psychological boost it provides.
When kids engage in exercises designed for strong athletes, they internalize the belief that they are becoming stronger themselves. This sense of progress is empowering and reinforces a growth mindset. Dryland training also instills discipline, work ethic, and consistency — qualities that benefit kids in both sports and life.
Beyond the immediate benefits, introducing structured training early sets a solid foundation for when the child enters puberty and experiences a growth spurt. During Peak Height Velocity (11-14 years old), strength training can have a significant compounding effect, helping your child excel athletically when their body begins to change rapidly. Effective exercise at this time is critical for reaching athletic potential, so creating movement literacy at any early age accelerates growth potential when it matters most.
4. Try to think Long-Term
Too often, parents and coaches look for quick results — a faster slap shot, a stronger pass — without recognizing the long-term development that young athletes require. Yelling from the stands or criticizing coaches for not pushing hard enough might seem like ways to accelerate growth, but this approach usually backfires. We end up trading long-term growth for what we try to accomplish in a single practice, game, or season.
Focus on the bigger picture. Celebrate the small victories and progress, and give your child the time and space to develop naturally. It not only results in a better trajectory, but it takes the pressure off you and your young athlete. A child who loves the game and is supported through positive reinforcement will be more motivated to improve, both on and off the ice than a child who feels constant urgency to get it right. You can manipulate your child’s motivation for a period of time, but eventually they must become self-driven to reach the next level. Most kids who are pushed too hard too early are the first to drop out of sport the moment they get some autonomy. Parents should foster opportunities and create structure, but make sure the drive to improve is coming from inside the child and not a by-product of seeking your approval.
5. Let Them Play
Above all, playing hockey should be a joy. Hard work, competition, and improvement can all be fun- and I’m not suggesting that there isn’t a time and place to push your kid- but if a child feels constant pressure or fear, they can lose their confidence or joy of the game. Pushing harder doesn’t make them tougher, but it can make them insecure or resentful. To truly foster growth, it’s essential to create an environment where rewarding experiences are plentiful and mistakes are seen as part of the learning process. There’s a time and place for serious sport, but it’s not when kids are still wearing pajamas with cartoons on them. Freedom to experiment, make decisions, and embrace creativity will fuel a child’s passion and keep them engaged in the game for years to come, and praise drives passion, so give it to your players with abundance.
By leading with positivity, integrating physicality into practice, and setting a solid foundation through early physical challenges, you can help your child develop the confidence to thrive both on and off the ice. Focus on long-term growth, and your young athlete will have the tools to succeed in the game they love. And even if they decide the sport you both love is no longer for them, they’ll have a toolbox to carry with them into any avenue they take in life.
GRIT Hockey 
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